“And Moses said unto the people, Fear you not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will show you today: for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you shall see them again no more for ever.” (Exodus 14:13)
“Know you not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortionists, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.” (1Corinthians 6:9-11)
The Tuesday after I gave my life to Jesus I went to the mission to join the program. Mr. Jackson asked me if there was any reason I wouldn't be able to go into the program right away. I told him that I had some clothes and things in the welfare hotel right next door. He told me that if I went to get my stuff that he couldn't guarantee that there would still be a bed available, because they only had one left. He told me that they would provide everything that I needed as far as clothes and food. I thought about it for a minute and decided to stay. And I am glad that I did. I spent eight months there and it really helped build my life both physically and spiritually. The first battle I had was against cigarettes. I knew in my heart that I needed to quit, but the urge for a cigarette was so strong I didn’t know if I could stop. At the mission they used to let us go outside three times a day to have a cigarette break. One day I decided to stop cold turkey and every time I would get an urge for a cigarette I would pray and ask Jesus to take the urge for a cigarette away. And He did! Praise God! However by the end of the second day the urge for a cigarette was so strong I couldn’t take it any more. I prayed, Lord you have to forgive me because I can’t do this. During the last cigarette break I went outside and asked people to give me a cigarette and I couldn’t get one. Then I saw a man next door in front of the welfare hotel where I used to stay who I had given cigarettes to before and he was opening a brand new pack of Marlboros, my brand. I walked over to him and asked him for a cigarette and he looked at me and said, “No! You’re quitting!” Immediately the craving went away. From that moment I have never wanted another cigarette. Praise God!
The first three months I kept having dreams about going back to crack. In my dream I still wanted it just like I used to before and sometimes in my dream I would even get some and be smoking it. It was almost as if I was really doing it and enjoying it. I would wake up in a cold sweat saying "O God I don't want to go back, please help me". I remember thinking that I really hadn't changed because in my dreams I was still going after the crack. One day this one brother named Phil all of a sudden went back to the streets and back to the crack, and I got really afraid because Phil had been on fire for God or so it seemed. I cried out to God and said "O God what happened, I don't want the same thing to happen to me". God spoke to my heart and said, "He wouldn't let me deal with his heart". I remember the fear of God hitting my heart and I prayed that God would help me never to do that. I believe it was afterwards, that I never had another dream about going back to crack. Since that time I have never even been tempted to do it. I had absolutely no desire or thought of ever smoking crack to this day. I have been through many difficult times including my own failures but God truly had set me free. Praise God! Jesus said, “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.” The Bible says, "If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new". In fact I don't remember ever even wanting a drink of alcohol or any other drug after that. When I used to go to the AA meetings they would tell us "once an alcoholic always an alcoholic" or "once a drug addict always a drug addict" and that wasn't very good news to someone who was trying to stop doing drugs and drinking. I thank God that through Jesus Christ we can truly have a New Life! About a year and a half later, I moved into Times Square Church (at the Nederlander Theater on 41st street) and God gave me a promise the day I moved in: "Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies" (Psalm 23:5). I remembering telling God that I didn’t understand why he gave me that verse. After all I was moving into a church and I didn’t know what enemy would be there. Well my first job for the church was to sweep the sidewalk in front of the church. I didn’t know it when I moved in but right outside the front door of the church was my worst enemy, crack. 41st street was known as "crack alley" because all the crack addicts would hang out and smoke their crack there, usually right on the steps of the church. Every morning I would go out and sweep the sidewalk and there would be hundreds of empty crack vials, and many times they would still be there smoking crack. Not once did I ever feel tempted or even think of smoking crack again. I would go over to them and tell them that Jesus Christ could give them a new life and then I would tell them my testimony. And then I would tell them that I was living proof that there was a way out for them. Praise God!
One thing that helped me was that God never let me believe that I could go back and get away with it. At that time the mission used to teach that once you "accepted Jesus" you were saved no matter what you did. God never let me believe it. God made it very clear to me that I could never go back. Never! I know of many testimonies of people who have gone back many times and God has been merciful to them but I think of what Jesus said when He was tempted by the devil: "It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God."